The Lost Boys of Sudan - more lost than ever

Looking to find peace and start new lives, many of the Lost Boys of Sudan struggle to surpass the countless obstacles they continue to encounter even after resettling in America. Some are still far from their happily ever after.

By Elisa Benham

Overwhelmed after arrival in the airport, an African Boy who stands out amongst the crowded terminal, walks dumbstruck admiring every aspect of what to him, is a whole new world. “We were leaving everything we knew, or thought we knew; each of us had only one small bag of possessions, and no money at all, no family where we were going. (1)” Valentino Achak Deng, a Lost Boy of Sudan couldn’t have hoped or dreamed of anything more than escaping the civil war which tormented his home country of Sudan for over 20 years. He was left bewildered with the idea that he was in the United States, over 10’000 kilometers away from the land he left only days ago. It didn’t take long before the cold started to frighten him as he began longing for the warmth of his home which he said goodbye to indefinitely. He could sense stares upon him and he already felt misplaced in his vast surroundings. His confidence began draining out of him but the worry which replaced it hid behind his enthusiastic smile. Even holding on to nothing more than hope, he took the opportunity of a lifetime by being resettled in America. He had the chance to create a future for himself and he was not going to let anything bring him down. Ever since he was forced to flee his home when attacked by government troops when he was only a child, he became one of the 20’000 Lost Boys of Sudan with no safe refuge until 4000 of them became the largest resettled group of unaccompanied refugee children in history. The U.S. office of refugee resettlement began bringing boys aged 16 and older over from 2001. Leaving Africa and the afflicted land behind them was truly a dream come true but stepping off the plane in the big Western country was the biggest step the fortunate Boys had ever taken. The stumbles which began to shatter their determination came hard as “The Lost Boys' of Sudan escaped civil war and came to America, with challenges less brutal but no less real.”

Peter Dut, a lost boy who arrived in Minneapolis was one of the many of the Lost Boys were shocked upon arrival in America as only a few days earlier he had been first exposed to simple features from light switches to a toilet flush. Even water running from taps and simple everyday household appliances were new wonders. Supermarkets stocked with more food than he had ever even seen in his lifetime fascinated him greatly as the simple food shopping experience was astonishing. Passing through it all, gazing at the wondrous objects which he dared not to touch, watching as people casually filled their trolleys with anything they wanted. He walked dazzled at everything from packaging to brands, repeatedly whispering names he saw to himself as each aisle brought more curiosity. Dog food and soap had never been seen through his eyes so when told the functions, he would nod almost with disbelief. Adapting and understanding all of these new concepts would take him time for Sudan was an estimated a few hundred years behind civilized countries; countries such as America. For the Lost Boys though, excited and full of ambitions, they imagined their bright future which lay ahead. “The words describing America had piled up without real meaning: freedom, democracy, a safe place, a land with food enough for everyone” Little did the Boys think that it would be far from that and their expectations were very high. "America wasn't paradise and it wasn't as easy as they told you in the camps”.

In the UN Kakuma refugee camp from 1992, the Boys stayed cramped together for over 10 years not knowing what their fate would be. They were coming from the refugee camp, where they were given food, owned their homes and got free education then suddenly to America, where they had to get their own food, pay rent and find themselves education. After using the first three months of rent and food cards they had been given, the Boys were forced to set out into the big cities to support themselves. Many of them even believed that they would be in school already after the first day of arrival but this wasn’t the case. They realised that they would have to save up for college with any job they could get hold of. A large majority are working in very low paying jobs earning no more than $10-20 dollars per hour. This money needed to pay for the essentials and then they could never let down their family back in the camp. Peter said "I came here to the United States. I thought I was coming to get education. I thought I was coming to try and gain something to help my people. But we don't get. We're just working for nothing." They have difficulty to find time for school whilst struggling to earn enough for the necessities. In 2002, 65% percent of the Lost Boys worked full time meaning that they did not attend school and 90% of those who did not work said it was because of their limited english. Loneliness and frustration haunt a large number of Lost Boys who could no longer recognize what had given them so much optimism. Valentino reveals “I pretend that I know who I am but I simply don’t.” Once full of dreams, going to America was all that anyone could think about as the first Boys began to leave the Kakuma camp. Celebrations took place throughout the camp as everyone anticipated news of their success. “Come back a successful man” was what Valentino’s father had said to him on departure. That is the reason why all of the resettled Sudanese feel obliged to send money back to their families, to help those who once helped them. They were not going to let their people down.

Already being lost in the big cities, not every American welcomed the Lost Boys with open arms. “It is hard to describe what others feel; when I pass by them they call me black and make racist remarks.” There were those who looked down on them and made them feel like they didn't belong. With the large adjustment the Boys had to face, Americans were not all very optimistic about how it would work out. There were of course Americans who volunteered to help them adjust and some families even fostered. The Boys whose ages were estimated under 18 by the UN, - as they did not know their ages on arrival, became the luckier ones who could attend High School but they were only a small 26%. Most of them have adjusted well to their new lives in comparison to the others. They did not need to worry about supporting themselves yet and were not thrown directly into the deep end as they had a family to take care of them. They could begin school whereas many Universities are not accepting the older Lost Boys because they are too old. Even the youths had difficulty adapting in different ways. “The youths do experience nightmares, homesickness, anxiety and depression. They miss their parents and friends” It is just as hard for Americans to understand them because the Lost Boys still feel lonely and do are not comfortable expressing themselves. Journalist Scott Peterson described them to be “among the most badly war-traumatized children ever examined.” When forced to run away from their villages, the Lost Boys set off together in groups to find safety from the violence everywhere they turned but had to walk over 1000 miles across Sudan without food or water, facing unbelievable dangers along the way. They may be safe now but they are still very lost.

"Imagine yourself landing in America with no financial resources and no support network. Strip away your parents, your family, education, money, housing, friends, neighbors who know you, all worldly possessions, language -- take all that away and what have you got left? How do you go about surviving?” These are the questions that really seem like mysteries. Realistically, these struggles could completely bring the Lost Boys down but although they have barriers to overcome which still remain to be fought, despite all, they realise that America has also brought light. It has brought them the countless opportunities to become new people, independent citizens and to be able to build a future. There are many who have become lost but there are more who are trying to think beyond the difficulties. They pulled through the loss of their loved ones, they walked through the country full of danger suffering severe starvation and dehydration, they witnessed deaths and more but still they are here in America, throughout all they survived. They persevere because they know there is suffering but they never stop having faith. Admitting that America is far from perfect: “This is a miserable place, of course, a miserable and glorious place that I love dearly and of which I could have seen far more than I could have expected”, it has become their home. Even as hard as it is, they know how fortunate they are to be in the big western country because there are still boys left in the Kakuma refugee camp. They know that America didn’t turn out to be their “forever after” but the resettled Lost Boys of Sudan still fight head high to find peace and happiness that they have been long awaiting.

Research Sources:

Eggers, Dave “What is the what”, Vintage books, United States, 2006

Corbett, Sara. "The Lost Boys of Sudan; The Long, Long, Long Road to Fargo." The New York Times. The New York Times, 01 Apr. 2001. Web. 21 Mar. 2013:
http://www.nytimes.com/2001/04/01/magazine/the-lost-boys-of-sudan-the-long-long-long-road-to-fargo.html?pagewanted=all&src=pm

Muhindi, Masumbuko Martin and Nyakato, Kiganzi “Immigration of the Sudanese “ Lost Boys” in Boston, Massachusetts, USA 2002” (PDF):
http://web.mit.edu/cis/www/migration/pubs/Mahindi.pdf

Goffe, Leslie “Sudan’s Lost Boys in America” BBC News, BBC, New York Web. 31 Aug. 2004
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/3602724.stm

Kohn, David. "Lost Boys II: Life In America." CBSNews. CBS Interactive, 11 Feb. 2009. Web. 21 Mar. 2013:
http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-500164_162-322870.html

"Lost Boys of Sudan-where Are They Now?" MSUToday. N.p., 18 July 2007. Web. 21 Mar. 2013:
http://msutoday.msu.edu/news/2007/-1/

Cat Le, Phuong “The Lost Boys of Sudan: Finding their way in America” Seattle Pi, Hearst communications Inc, Hearst Newspapers, Web, 18 Jul, 2001
http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/The-Lost-Boys-of-Sudan-Finding-their-way-in-1060236.php

Weddle, David "New Struggle in the U.S." Los Angeles Times. Los Angeles Times, Web. 19 Aug. 2003.
http://articles.latimes.com/2003/aug/19/entertainment/et-weddle19

“Annual ORR reports to Congress 2002” Office of refugee resettlement, Administrations for children and families archive, U.S department of health and human services, Web 2002
http://archive.acf.hhs.gov/programs/orr/data/02arc9.htm

“God Grew tired of us: From Sudan to the United States” © National Geographic video, n/d
http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/movies/god-grew-tired/from-sudan-ggtu/

The Boys’ Wings of Hope

Resettled in the foreign land of America, the Lost Boys struggle to find an identity,
a home and they are as lost as ever.

By Molly Sunwoo

I was walking back home from work, exhausted. I was working as a laborer then. It was the worst job for someone as weak and skinny as me but I didn’t have many choices - $8.50 per hour as a ticket clerk just wasn’t going to earn me enough money for an education. When I opened the door of the apartment, I was surprised to find my American ex-girlfriend lying down on the sofa, humming a tune I wasn’t familiar with. I had broken up with her a week ago. After sending me endless texts and phone calls, and now, entering my house without permission?! It was ridiculous. Was this a part of American culture as well?

We had a huge dispute that night. She refused to break up with me. Suddenly, within the blur of the situation, I felt a hand strike across my face as she screamed, “You’re just a refugee here in America. I can kill you!” 1
Panic and fear building up inside me, I frantically pushed her out of the house and shut the door. She continued screaming outside the door for a few hours but even after she left, I could hear her furious voice echoing through my head, ‘You’re just a refugee here, I can kill you.’

Just a refugee.

I can kill you.

Peter Deng remembers one of the most horrific days of his past. His voice, strained, as he mentions that he had to place a restraining order on this woman. Besides this incident, Peter has been through several other terrible experiences in America. Within the first year of his arrival, he was assaulted, carjacked, fined $1,200 for driving without licenses, - which no one taught him was needed - and was falsely accused of fathering a child. As he lists each event, his body tenses, as if reliving these traumatizing days.

Peter now insists on staying home, for fear that he might be assaulted or be sent to jail for false accusations. He has simply given up trying to fit in - like a glass piece dropped to the ground, Peter’s determination has shattered into pieces.

“If I go to public places, the mall or a club, somebody might hurt me for that,” he says, with a voice drenched with fear. 2

It is undeniable that there were great physical sufferings for the Lost Boys in Africa. But back then, they relied on one another and supported each other. In America, most of the Lost Boys are outsiders, turned down, with no one to turn to. Just as Peter experienced, they are often harshly mistreated and pointed at for their dark skin tone. They are neither Sudanese or American anymore and rejected from society as they strive to find a home.

Though, of course, when Peter first arrived in Phoenix in 2001, he was thrilled, just as any other, completely unaware of what may be waiting for him. “So I was thinking that America is a good country. Maybe if I go there I will make money; I will go to school.” he says with a faint smile. 3

After years and years of aimlessly roaming around Africa, constantly chased by war and poverty, the Lost Boys seized any opportunities to escape.

This seemingly endless journey started when the Sudanese Civil War spread to Southern Sudan in 1987.

Nearly none of the native villages escaped from the abrupt strikes of the government and the murahaleen - arab militias on horseback who were armed by the Sudanese Government to attack SPLA and the Dinkas. Those who survived the raids would hide or run until they met other signs of settlement. Separated from their families or sometimes sent willingly by their parents, a total of 27,000 young orphaned boys and girls gathered, soon forming the ‘Lost Boys of Sudan’ and starting their walk towards safety.

Constantly running from violence, these boys were never able to settle down completely. Roaming around the endless continent of Africa, the boys spent 4 years in Pinyudo Refugee Camp, 9 years in Kakuma Refugee Camp and 1 year during a walk to Kenya. Wounds on their bare feet became deeper and deeper and every day was a new nightmare. “We chewed tall grasses and ate mud to stay alive.”4 John Bul Dau frowns as he recalls his walk.

Until finally, they caught the world’s attention and opportunity was in sight. Their simple wish became crystal clear them - to feel safe, to stop worrying, and live a life of peace and serenity.

Hence, when the US started resettling some of the Lost Boys to America in 2001, they grabbed it without any hesitation.

Jany Deng, is one of the exceptionally fortunate former Lost Boys who found a place in America. He was remarkably lucky to graduate high school, followed by university and in May 2005, become a US citizen. Now working as the Program Director at the Lost Boys Center for Leadership Development in Arizona, Jany works towards helping fellow victims of the war in Sudan and acts as a role model to most other Lost Boys.

But until now, Jany has had an extraordinarily painful past.

One of the first to leave the chaos in Sudan, Jany and his older brother, Simon arrived in America together in Phoenix in 1995, before most others. Unfortunately, they were separated straight away in America, as Jany (then 16) was put with foster parents while Simon (then 23) was placed in a small apartment shared with a few others. This was a common method in resettlement - the younger boys were given better environments and circumstances.

But regardless of age, whether the lost boy lived with a caring foster family or lived alone or with a few strangers, made an indescribable difference. Living conditions were the start of their new life and it could either act as a shadow or sunlight to their futures.

Though Jany started attending high school straight away, Simon could not. Already too old, no opportunities of education were provided for him. While constantly being chased by bills and economic struggles, Simon also had difficulties coping with racial discrimination. Living in his tiny apartment with a few other strangers, he was quickly filled with isolation and loneliness in an unfamiliar land. Depression soon crawled into his life - soundless, yet menacing.

Simon had landed in America with his determination strong, ready to fight. But every disappointment feeling like a punch in the gut, it didn’t take long for him to simply put down his weapons and give in.

Jany mentioned, by 1997, two years after his arrival in America, Simon had ‘grown despondent’ 5 and ‘began to speak of suicide’. 6 Completely different from his previous occasionally dispirited moods, he was constantly sorrowful.

A while after these observations, Simon Deng died in the same year. Driven from mental instability, Simon was shot by the police while damaging a Catholic Social Services Building with a pistol.

His brother’s death was an unbearable shock to Jany.

“Why here?” he asks. “He could have died over there. I could have died over there,” he says quietly, voice shaking. “The way it happened, it was not a good way.”7

America was an escape from war and violence for the Lost Boys. But, are they really safe? As a result of great social and economic difficulties now their most dangerous threat is essentially, themselves.

Around 80-90% of the Lost Boys resettled in America suffer a mental disorder called PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Caused by traumatic past experiences such as war, sexual assault, natural disaster and more, it is only natural that PTSD is exists within the Lost Boys. Though, through research, it has been proven that their current environment is also a large development factor of PTSD and that patients often experience lack of sleep, anxiety, nightmares and flashbacks.

It is a true tragedy that these bright boys are shadowed by such struggles. Still taunted by their past, they are being pulled back, unable to move on.

And because they were brought apart from their culture, family and are isolated in a foreign land among strangers, the Lost Boys often have no one to talk to, let out their troubles and feelings, which forces them to keep it all in.

Just like Simon Deng, who was not able to build personal and intimate relationships like his younger brother. Who, at the end, was left alone and helpless, to the point where he slowly cracked.

This heartbreaking story of Simon is what the majority of the resettled Lost Boys are going through. After all the deprivation in Africa, it only takes them one moment, one single moment, to let go of the willpower that kept them through their entire journey.

In the unknown land, they are fragile.

And these unfortunate yet brave boys deserve to be accepted and embraced. Like beautiful doves, wings broken from their horrible history, with love, their wounds can be bandaged, damages cured. And with encouragement, a helping hand, they can spread their wings and fly away, leaving their past behind.

References:

1. "SALON." Saloncom RSS. Leigh Flayton, 26 Aug. 2005. Web. 26 Mar. 2013.<http://www.salon.com/2005/08/25/lost_boys_3/>

2. "Boston University." Browse. N.p., 6 June 2005. Web. 26 Mar. 2013.<http://www.bu.edu/phpbin/news/releases/display.php?id=951>

3. "Sudan: The Passion of the Present." 'Sudan: The Passion of the Present' N.p., 30 Sept. 2005. Web. 27 Mar. 2013.<http://platform.blogs.com/passionofthepresent/2005/09/equipping_lost_.html>

4. "Impact A Village – Blog." Impact A Village Blog. N.p., n.d. Web. 23 Apr. 2013. <http://impactavillage.org/blog/?tag=deng-jongkuch>

5. "ExplorersBio." National Geographic. N.p., n.d. Web. 21 Apr.
2013.<http://www.nationalgeographic.com/explorers/bios/john-bul-dau/>

6. "Sudan: The Passion of the Present." 'Sudan: The Passion of the Present' N.p., 30 Sept. 2005. Web. 23 Apr. 2013. <http://platform.blogs.com/passionofthepresent/2005/09/equipping_lost_.html>

7. Collom, Lindsey. "Stress Issues Still Plague 'Lost Boys' of Sudan." N.p., 7 Apr. 2008. Web. 23 Apr. 2013.<http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/0407lostboys0407.html?nclick_check=1>

8. Weddle, David. "LA Times- Lost Boys of Sudan." LA Times- Lost Boys of Sudan. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 Apr. 2013.<http://www.lostboysfilm.com/articles/laTimes.html>

9. "Lost Boys of Sudan." WolfWikis RSS. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 Apr. 2013. <http://wikis.lib.ncsu.edu/index.php/Lost_Boys_of_Sudan>